I can’t be the only one

24 Dec

Last week I posted a blog that was simply my thoughts on that night. Earlier that evening I had attended a Longest Night Service here at the church. It was an excellent service although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t blubber like a baby going forward to light a candle. So many of the things that were said echoed exactly my feelings this Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. I love the reason behind Christmas and celebrating God’s perfect and best gift coming down to us–lowly us. I love spending time with my family. I love seeing kids get so excited and the joy they exude.  But this year I haven’t felt “in the holiday spirit.”  I just haven’t. I’ve not been in tears every day and I’ve even had some very good days. But I’m not as excited this year, I just can’t seem to feel that same feeling that has always come each year. During this service however there was a reading that touched on every feeling I’ve had this year and I couldn’t wait to share it with all of you. Maybe you’re grieving this year (so many of us are) or maybe you know someone who is; either way I hope this helps just a little bit.

 

             I can’t quite catch the spirit of ’tis the season to be jolly…for jolly isn’t what I am feeling.

            I can’t quite see the spirit of lights and tinsel that deck the halls…for my eyes are filled with tears that blind.

            I can’t quite hear the spirit of choirs of angels that sing “Rejoice”…for my ears are filled with silence.

            I can’t quite smell the spirit of pine and candles, of frankincense and  myrrh…for the aroma I smell is nothing sweet.

            I can’t quite taste the spirit of treats and cookies and roasted chestnuts…for the taste of bitterness is on my lips.

            I can’t quite touch the spirit of warm fires and cozy gatherings…for I shiver at the touch of ice in my soul.

            I can’t quite get there, God!  I can’t quite feel it, God!  I can’t quite find it, God!  And yet you come here with me.

            In tears, in silence, in emptiness, and the cold it is here I  discover your comfort for me.  After all is said and done, I  ever    did need to catch it, or see it, or hear it, or smell it, or taste it. I don’t have to get there!

             I don’t have to seek it! I don’t have to find it!

             Instead, you meet me where I am, without expectations or conditions, the most precious gift I’ve known. You come to share my silent night.

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One Response to “I can’t be the only one”

  1. katiewetherbee December 24, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    Kelsey…this is so beautiful…Blessings to you this Christmas, friend.

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